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What Kind of World Do You Want to Live in?

Last night I had the incredible good fortune to spend the evening with a group of dynamic, passionate, clever individuals. Most of them I have never met before, but we all share one vital quality. We all want to live in a world rooted in humanity, honesty, compassion and a shared sense of fulfillment and we are all willing to begin acting as though we do in order to effect that change.

There were writers and engineers, human resource experts and folks who fund and support start-ups and one individual passionately committed to restorative justice. There were men and women of all ages, most of us parents, each one of us visionary in our quest to find new ways to connect individuals and groups in ways that are authentic and meaningful and based in respect and caring for one another.  It was not a fund-raiser. It was not a sales pitch or a cult initiation.  It was simply a group of people coming together over a delicious meal to talk about how we can begin to realize the dream of living in a different kind of world.

We were challenged at the beginning to be as honest as we could about who we are, what we want, and how we make our way through the world. To be hyperaware of how we talk about our own lives. I was reminded several times throughout the evening of three books that have had an incredible impact on me and whose fundamental lessons I have to remind myself of often:

Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements,
Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly,
and
David Whyte’s The Three Marriages.

I dreamt about some of the conversations we had overnight and as I head out to a weekend without my laptop, I am certain the notebook I am bringing along with me will be well-used, filled with lines of inspiration and epiphanies sparked by this amazing gathering of people.  The ripples from this night will continue for days and weeks to come and I am so energized, so grateful to have been introduced to this movement that will change forever how I view my place in the world.  There is something so powerful about being reminded that people crave connection and community that rewards them for being exactly who they are, that being an ‘idealist’ is not a bad thing, that it may one day change the way we all live for the better.

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Dishing on Books

Michelle tagged me in a meme about reading and I just couldn’t resist. I decided, though, that since my girls love to read as much or more than I do, I would see if they were interested in playing along, too.  They were.  Here are our answers to the questions Michelle crafted:

1) What is the quality in a
book that makes you want to dive in and keep turning the page? Name a book that
demonstrates this quality.
Eve – strong characters.
“Wither” by Lauren DeStefano
Lola – lots of action. “The
Wishlist” by Eion Colfer
Kari – Strong, sincere
emotion and/or a storyline that explores the human condition. “Me Who Dove
Into the Heart of the World” by Sabina Berman or anything by Mary Karr.
2) What’s the first book
you read that made you cry? Why did it make you cry?
Eve – “Speak” (by Laurie
Halse Anderson) made me cry because it seemed like something that would
actually happen and it was so sad. 
Lola – “Where the Red Fern
Grows.” Because my mom was reading it to me and she was crying.
Kari – “Charlotte’s Web” for
certain. Absolutely, because it was so easy to identify with the animals when I
read books as a child. As I got older it was more of a challenge, although I
didn’t empathize with them any less. I tend to cry very easily when I read to
this day because I get wrapped up in the story. I have cried at so many books
since then – “Where the Red Fern Grows,” “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,” “Don’t
Let’s Go to the Dog’s Tonight,” (or most any sad memoir, for that matter)…
3) How has social media
impacted your reading/writing time?
Eve – I get distracted by
social media and don’t read as much as I used to.
Lola – it doesn’t impact my
reading time. (note: Lola is 10, so she doesn’t have a Facebook page and only
checks her email once every few weeks. I hope this stays true for a while).
Kari – Social media doesn’t
impact my reading time much except that I read blogs a lot, so maybe it has
increased it overall.  I am in the
lucky position of being a book reviewer for Bookpleasures.com, so I feel
obligated to read a lot ;-).  I do,
however, get derailed by social media when it comes to writing time and I often
find myself wrestling with whether or not to stop reading blogs so I can
write.  It is difficult because I
feel like reading more makes me a better writer, and when I don’t follow the
usual blogs, I worry that I’m missing important information or the writer is
wondering where I’ve gotten to. 
4) Have you ever loved a book
so much you kissed it? (Not made out with it, but offered it a sweet
kiss on it’s cover, like giving a friend a kiss on the cheek)? Yeah…me neither.
Eve – No. But if I did, it
would be “The Hunger Games.”
Lola – Yes. “Stargirl” by
Jerry Spinelli
Kari – I don’t think so, but
if I had, it would have been in my emotional-high teenage years and it probably
would have been “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” or “Are You There God? It’s Me,
Margaret.”
5) Describe the ultimate
reading conditions for you. Where? What? When? How? Go big.
Eve – Reading a book of
fiction with a cup of hot chocolate in a local café by myself.
Lola – Reading  a paperback in front of the fireplace
with a cup of hot chocolate and a fuzzy blanket.
Kari – Lying on a chaise
lounge in the sunshine near a pool with a huge cup of fizzy water by my side
and a paperback in my hand.  I
should also have a notebook and pen handy so that if inspiration strikes I can
jot something down quickly.  It
would also be nice to have someone bring me fruit to nibble on every once in a
while and adjust my umbrella so the shade covers my book.  I should be reading something painfully
true and funny like nonfiction by Anne Lamott and nobody ought to look at me
sideways when I laugh out loud. 
Also, I should have a companion who is mostly quiet but indulges me when
I need to read passages I find particularly brilliant out loud to them. 
6) True or false: (Tongue
firmly in cheek)
If you can’t be bothered to
read to them, you should not have children.
Eve – True.
Lola – True.
Kari – Mostly true, although,
in my day I have heard some parents read out loud to their children who really
ought not to. They don’t do different voices or they read in a monotone or so
quickly that the child can’t follow the story and I just don’t know how that
can be inspiring. I think it is important to introduce your children to books
and sometimes let them take the lead on how to read them (ie. Should we look at
the illustrations on this one page for twenty minutes before we are satisfied? Should
we read the story backwards and see what happens?).
7) Have you or have you not read
Daughter of the Drunk at the bar?
Kari – I didn’t put this question
to either of my girls because I know they haven’t, but I have and I loved it
and I wrote a review of it and I passed the book along to a friend. 

And now I get to make up my own questions and tag people. I’m tagging Elizabeth, Deb, Alicia, and Lyz. 

Here is your mission, ladies, should you choose to accept it.

1.  Are there any books you wish you had been able to read, either because they are “classics” or because someone recommended them, but you just couldn’t slog through them?
2. What kinds of books (or specific books) make you want to write more? Which ones make you feel so inadequate that you feel like you can’t ever write again?
3.  Do you and your partner read the same kinds of books? What is different about the way you read? Genre? Enjoyment? Ebook versus ‘real’ book? Purpose?
4.   What is your favorite guilty pleasure, book-wise? Did you used to devour Harlequin Romance books? Do you enjoy graphic novels that your kids leave lying around?
5.  What is your favorite picture book of all time? What is the one that you hope to never have to read again? EVER!
6.  If you could inhabit the body, mind and soul of any writer for one week, whom would you choose? No limits.
7.  If “O Magazine” were to headline your memoir in one of its issues, what would the headline read?  


Readers, if you weren’t tagged, it’s not because I don’t care about your answers to the questions, it’s just that you don’t have a blog to publish them in.  Please, use the comments field to dish on your favorite books.


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My Latest Book Review and Other Books I Read for the Fun of It

I just finished reading Susannah Cahalan’s Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness, for BookPleasures. You can find my review here. It is a quick read, but frightening in the way psychological thrillers can be – that is, if you’re prone to being a tad bit of a hypochondriac when it comes to your own mental health.

I have also read several other good books lately that I thought I’d pass along in case anyone is looking for something to give to themselves this holiday season.  I generally read more than one book at a time, one on my iPad, one from the library, and one I couldn’t resist buying from the used bookstore.  In addition to that, there are always magazines lying around in different places, propped open to various pages, that I can pick up and peruse when I only have 15 minutes or so before dashing off to do something.  My favorite magazines are The Sun and Natural Health, but my new favorite is a literary magazine out of Portland, Oregon called Stealing Time. It is geared towards all things parenting and may be a new place for all you writers out there to send submissions. It is truly fantastic, with poetry and photographs and essays both fictional and non-fiction.  
The books I have read most recently on my iPad, in no particular order, are:
  •  Louise Erdrich’s “The Round House” (she is a wonder, this one – I love everything she writes), 
  • Alex Mitchell’s “All Gone” – a memoir about her mother’s memory loss/dementia and how the author copes by cooking up memories of her childhood dishes. I enjoyed this one, but am glad I didn’t spend the money for the hard copy because it was such a quick read.
  • Karen Thompson Walker’s “The Age of Miracles” – I am sad that this one is on my iPad because I know both of my girls would LOVE this book, but they have Kindles, so I may need to buy it again for them.  The premise is incredibly unique and the story was fascinating, especially to someone who tends to get lost in philosophical reverie. I didn’t even know it was supposed to be a teen book until after I read it. Loved this one!
  • Amanda Coplin’s “The Orchardist” – this one felt like a Pacific Northwest, caucasian “Roots” in a way. It was epic, spanned generations, and completely sucked me in with the imagery and the fact that I live not far from where it was set.  Tremendous read. 
  • M.L. Stedman’s “The Light Between Oceans” – this book made me cry in a good way. Again, the premise was unique and made me think well beyond the pages of the book. Loved it.
  • Darcy Lockman’s ” Brooklyn Zoo: The Education of a Psychotherapist” – a memoir of Lockman’s residence in a Brooklyn psych hospital. Well-written, quick read. Mostly it made me sad about the state of our healthcare system (especially as it relates to mental illness) and how we train our physicians. 
  • Sarina Berman’s “Me, Who Dove into the Heart of the World” – Amazing story! Amazing. I devoured this book and was so sad when it was over. One of my favorite works of fiction this year.
  • Laura Moriarty’s “The Chaperone” – fun, light read that I would recommend for summer vacation.
  • John Irving’s “In One Person” – I had to work to finish this one.  Actually, it was the first third of the book that was work. The rest was pleasurable, but I only kept reading it because I heard Irving interviewed on a local public radio station and I find him so fascinating.  Ultimately, I enjoyed it, but felt like it could have used some editing. (Look at me – novice writer saying that about John Irving! Ha! Who do I think I am?)
  • Liz Moore’s “Heft” – My friend Carrie raved about this book, and I trust her taste, so I downloaded it. What a beautiful story! Another favorite fictional work, for sure.
  • Tupelo Hassman’s “girlchild” – I think I wrote about this book earlier this year, but I have to say it again – I think it’s brilliant.
  • Laura Hillenbrand’s “Unbroken” – this one made me grieve so much for the folks fighting wars all over the planet. It also made me wish they could all unburden themselves of their stories and see them in a different light.
I just gifted myself Anne Lamott’s new book “Help Thanks Wow” and Brene Brown’s newest, “Daring Greatly.” I can’t wait to start them, but first I have a teen fiction book to review that I have to finish because Eve read the back the other day and is chomping at the bit to read it when I’m done.  
Happy reading!
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