It’s been a while since I cried over my dad. Well, since the anniversary of his death, May 2nd. But, before that, I had gotten to the point where I mostly just felt his presence every once in a while and acknowledged it gratefully.

Time to start the countdown over again for number of days since I cried about Dad.
Lola is finishing up her final novel study for school this year. Her group has been reading a book about a girl who gets a magic pen. Whenever she writes short stories with this pen, they eventually come true. It takes her a while to figure it out, and once she thinks she knows what is going on, she tests it out by writing things she fervently wishes would come true. When they don’t happen immediately, she tosses the pen away in disgust. Unfortunately, her wish eventually does come true and, by then, she has lost the pen forever.
Anyway, Lola’s teacher asked each of the kids to pretend they had this magical pen and write their own wish. After dinner last night, Lola showed me hers:

“Dear Papa,

I wish you would come back alive VERY SOON. I will have dreams about seeing you
soon. I have gotten very lonely without you and I miss when you and I can sit together
and look at the chickens sitting in your kitchen. You probably miss your cats. I LOVE you
and I’ll see you soon (I Hope).
Much Love,
Lola”
It brought me to my knees. They did used to sit together at my dad’s kitchen table and catalog the different kinds of chickens and roosters my dad’s wife had collected and displayed throughout the kitchen. They used to crack each other up. When I remember the way my father used to look at my girls, I absolutely cave in. A giant sinkhole opens up in the middle of me and swallows everything from the inside out. He had this amused, tender, perfectly whole love for them plastered all over his face. I know that it is this that Lola misses the most. Me, too.
10 replies
  1. aig63
    aig63 says:

    This is just so utterly heartwarming – thank you for sharing! I lost my Dad about a year ago and while we didn't always see eye to eye (more truthfully did not see eye to eye) in a father-daughter relationship, the grandfather- granddaughter relationship was not restricted by these encumbrances.
    What an enriching school exercise for your daughter as well!

    Reply
  2. Diane
    Diane says:

    This is a beautiful and tender tribute to the father you deeply loved. Your daughter's wish is so touching. Thank you for sharing the link on LinkedIn.

    Reply
  3. Thereza Howling
    Thereza Howling says:

    It really touched me that she would write such a nice note instead of a pledge for a new video game or pair of boots. What a toughtful and down to Earth girl! Thanks for sharing her with the world.

    Reply
  4. Bella
    Bella says:

    Kario, I am moved by your post. My father passed away recently and as I read this, I realize that were I to have a magic pen like the one in Lola's story, I would wish he was sitting at the kitchen table having his morning coffee with me. I think it's wonderful that Lola would use her magic pen to wish for time with her Papa.

    Reply
  5. Deb Shucka
    Deb Shucka says:

    Such a sweet story, Kari. I love the relationship you continue to have with your dad, and hope it brings you comfort.

    Reply
  6. ghanistha
    ghanistha says:

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  7. emily
    emily says:

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