Excavation and Forgiveness

Big doin’s around here. At least in my head. I’m back to working on forgiveness. And this time it is a little closer to home. This person is someone who is still in my life and is likely to be for a good, long time. And, while I knew somewhere deep in my ugly innards that I hadn’t forgiven her, I didn’t honestly think about it much, or acknowledge that this might be a problem. But I’ve bumped up against it hard lately and it is causing a swirling ball of heartburn in my gut.

**Same issue of Tricycle Magazine. The article is The Seventh Zen Precept: Not Elevating Oneself and Blaming Others, written by Nancy Baker
8 replies
  1. Elizabeth
    Elizabeth says:

    I have chills. As I began reading your post, I immediately thought about an article that I had read just this morning that I needed to remember for you but I couldn't remember what, exactly, it was and where it appeared. And then I kept on reading your post and IT WAS THE SAME ARTICLE! From the Winter Tricycle.

    How weird and wonderful is that? The article really resonated with me as well — I can't stop thinking about it, actually.

  2. Diana Stone
    Diana Stone says:

    Holy wow. This was like reading my own thoughts lately. It's like you crawled into my head.

    I struggle with this every.single.day. And how you put it is perfect – it's me. Not her. It's me.

    I can't even tell you what your post means to me right now.

  3. Dee
    Dee says:

    Dear Kario,

    Thank you for so openly sharing what all of us have to deal with throughout our lives. Forgiveness is sometimes so hard and your realization that the problem is yourself is such a blessing. Part of that blessing I hope is that because you are your own problem, you, too, need forgiveness. I think we all need to be a little more gracious to ourselves when we begin to explore those dark places that trip us up.
    Thank you for your help.

  4. Sandi
    Sandi says:

    Hi Kario,
    Double wow. Double, because I went back and read it again. It struck me about half way through the first time that I could have written those words – about myself! Even when I went back to read your words again, they were echoing in my head . . . forgiveness needs to begin within. I can't thank you enough for your post. It will be with me for awhile.

  5. Deb Shucka
    Deb Shucka says:

    Almost always that's the case: the problem lies within. Can't tell you how much that both pisses me off, and reassures me. Great insights here.

  6. Jill of All Trades
    Jill of All Trades says:

    Oh my goodness how perfect was it that I read this post today. I'm dealing with a family member and I have come to decide that she will never change even though my expectations want her too, she is who she is and has always been and I should never have expected any less. I'm letting it go. Thank you for this little word of advice. I'm moving on.

  7. fullsoulahead.com
    fullsoulahead.com says:

    "I am quick to judge this particular person, all the while silently accusing her of being too critical of others."

    Incredible self-awareness. I hate when that happens! LOL.


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